One Small Step by MA Binfield

Author:MA Binfield [Binfield, MA]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781635555974
Publisher: Bold Strokes Books
Published: 2019-11-14T16:00:00+00:00

* * *

Iris watched from the couch as Cam made them coffee. She was moving slowly, as if a little distracted, leaving pauses between the various stages in the process. Her mind not seeming to be completely on the job.

For a moment, a long, pleasant moment, Iris felt at home. Here, in this place that wasn’t her home, she felt the pull, the desire, to sit across from Cam every night and watch her make coffee. So mundane a wish but so appealing. A voice inside Iris’s head reminded her that she didn’t belong here with Cam, Ryan did. She was just visiting the possibility of this life and the visit would end soon. Iris welcomed the cruel reminder, knowing she needed to stop herself from feeling this way.

Cam turned back to her, coffee cups in hand, moving across the room. Iris had the remote control and was cueing the DVD.

“This movie had better not be too scary.” Cam’s eyes widened.

“It’s supposed to be creepy rather than scary. I read all the reviews, tried to make sure there was no slashing. And it’s Spanish so if we close our eyes when it gets scary, we won’t even be able to understand them screaming.”

“Very funny. If I can’t sleep after this and my game is off on Sunday, I’m going to tell Megan it’s your fault.”

Cam went back to the kitchen to get a large bowl down from a shelf. Iris took the bowl as Cam grabbed a large purple blanket from the back of the adjacent armchair. Iris poured the popcorn into the bowl while Cam draped the blanket over their laps.

Iris felt the room warm up several degrees, and she knew it wasn’t just the blanket. How was sitting this close to Cam for two hours going to help her manage her attraction? Cam leaned across and tucked the blanket in on Iris’s side and she felt an involuntary flutter in her stomach.

Iris tried to talk, to take her mind off the physical effects caused by being this close to Cam. “How come you’re scared of scary films when you’re so gutsy otherwise?” Iris had been thinking about it, about how Cam was often right, handled difficult things well, how she encouraged Iris to be better. “Sorry, I don’t mean that in a challenging way. I mean…I was just wondering. You give good advice, you challenge me. It seems kind of brave, at least compared to me anyway.” Iris willed herself to stop talking.

“You think that’s what I’m like, but maybe that’s because you don’t know me very well.”

Iris hated hearing Cam say that. She wanted to know Cam well, was trying to know Cam. “What don’t I know about you?”

Cam seemed surprised by the question but she held Iris’s gaze, her eyes seemed sad, her expression cautious. She sighed and sipped her coffee.

“I don’t know. I sometimes think I’m an observer, a drifter poking about in other people’s lives rather than living the life I might want to. I tried to live that life once.

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